The wounds often make complete sense once you understand where they came from
The pain you’ve been living with isn’t a character flaw
The trauma that comes from childhood family dysfunction, relational harm, or years of not being safe enough to fully be yourself is complex, and it tends to look a lot like personality. The survivor parts of you are the protectors of who you really are deep down. They may be slow to trust, but with time and compassion, they can change.
You may have already tried to get to the bottom of this
Maybe you've done some therapy before. You understand that there are patterns, and you can name what happened. And yet something still feels stuck: the same reactions, the same pull toward the same things, the same quiet sense that you can't quite trust yourself or the people around you.
Complex trauma affects the body and nervous system just as much as the mind. Knowing why something happens doesn't always release you from all of it. There’s work that can be done to find the deeper, more protected ways the trauma still hurts and gently heal them, too.
It’s different from how most people picture PTSD. The symptoms are emotional and relational, so the treatment is a bit different, too.
Relationships that feel intense, confusing, or impossible to sustain
A persistent sense of not being enough, or not being safe
People-pleasing, over-functioning, or shrinking yourself to keep the peace
A critical inner voice that sounds a lot like someone from your past
Difficulty trusting your own perceptions and needs
Anxiety, depression, and exhaustion that don't fully respond to the usual approaches
Numbing, disconnection, or going through the motions of a life you can't quite feel
If any of that sounds familiar, you're someone who adapted. This work is about respecting your emotional survival skills as well as learning something different.
What complex trauma actually looks like
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
IFS, commonly called parts work or inner child work, is a way of understanding yourself that starts with a simple premise: we're all made of parts. Some like to be very busy so that everything looks fine, others carry the heavy burden of old pain. Some have been working so hard for so long to keep you safe that they've forgotten they don't have to do it alone anymore.
In IFS, there are no bad parts. All of them are welcome, and all of them make sense in context. The work is getting to know them with patience and curiosity instead of trying to overpower or silence them. When parts feel understood, they can soften their tactics and quiet their criticisms. It’s a deeply transformative experience.
This is a gentle and creative way to work. It's particularly powerful for trauma that formed in the context of relationships, because it honors the complexity of those relationships without requiring simple answers.
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
EMDR is one of the most researched and effective approaches to trauma that exists. The protocol allows your brain's natural healing processes, already working to support you through stresses of all kinds, to access the more protected traumatic memories so you can finally let go of the fight or flight response that became chronically activated.
Importantly, EMDR doesn't require you to revisit painful memories in detail. It doesn't ask you to talk through everything that happened. It works at the levels where the trauma actually “lives” and for a lot of people, addressing trauma in this direct but creative way is the piece that finally moves things.
For complex and relational trauma, the kind that built up over years rather than a single event, EMDR works well when combined with the relational groundwork of IFS. We go at whatever pace makes sense for you.
When trauma and identity are the same wound
For many queer and trans people, the relational and developmental trauma they carry is tied directly to their identity. Family rejection, the chronic stress of hiding and masking, religious trauma, the long-term effects of never feeling safe enough to be fully yourself. These wounds arrive together, and they deserve respectful, compassionate support that understands that.
This is work I'm particularly equipped to offer not just clinically, but because it's personal to me. If your experience sits at this intersection, you're in the right place.
You can also find warmlines and peer support resources on the community resources page. Support that’s available right now, outside of a therapy room.
You don’t have to keep carrying this alone
A free consultation is the first step. There are no forms or commitments, just a conversation to see if we’re a good fit.